I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
