we have pet lesbian snakes
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
