Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You can't special order awesome
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
