I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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