I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
