No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
