I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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