Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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