the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
