that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize