her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
