Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
