Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
