i don't plan on having that self control this summer
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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