Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
