none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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