girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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