States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
