Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
