Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize