I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
