Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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