I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize