My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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