Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
