apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i've created a new STD.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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