omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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