Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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