either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
