just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Semen is not good for contacts.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
