Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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