And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
