I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
