so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
