drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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