this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
