you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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