sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
