Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
