It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
