Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
