Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We have started to decorate penises.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
