You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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