I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize