I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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