never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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