Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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