Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
