you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
