can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
