She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
