He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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