Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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