I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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