We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
