found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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