is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
