i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
