i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
