Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize