were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
