i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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