I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize