I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
