yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
