Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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