Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
