i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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