belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
