"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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