Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
