He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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