Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
