Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
