cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
