About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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