you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So squirting runs in the family.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
