is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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