Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
