Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
