I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
