He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
